Emotional Eating
‘Someone who is addicted to eating is actually starving on an emotional and spiritual level. Her longing for food is a longing for the ideal mother, the archetypal Good Mother who nourishes us, soothes us, loves us, and accepts us just the way we are. Frequently, this is the “something” she searches for as she stands in front of the fridge. This is what she is really in pursuit of when she sets out for the grocery store. No matter how much ice cream she eats, how many cookies she consumes, or muffins she devours, she cannot fulfill this longing because she is filling her stomach, not her heart, not her spirit.’ Anita Johnston, PhD
How often do you find yourself standing in front of the fridge or cupboard just staring into it, we think we are looking for something to eat but are we really searching for something else? Do you ever stop to ask yourself “ What am I really hungry for”? I have recently finished reading the book Eating in the Light of the Moon - Dr. Anita Johnston (dranitajohnston.com) It’s a beautiful book that uses myths, metaphors and storytelling to explain women’s sometimes complicated relationship with their bodies and food.
We live in a world where the expectation is for instant results we need answers we turn to google, we need inspiration we can use AI, we want to lose weight we use the latest fad diet. Maybe a weight loss injection or even surgery with a gastric band. We no longer need to work things out for ourselves… or do we?
You see sometimes we do need to know the reason behind our motivation to binge eat because without dealing with that the problem never goes away, so even with an injection or gastric band those feelings and emotions you want to bury are still very much there.
Its why so many people are constantly jumping from diet to diet and wondering why they never work in the long term.
This book encourages us to connect with our inner voice to explore our emotional hunger and to attend to it’s needs. The book does focus specifically on those with a diagnosed eating disorder, but I believe anyone who has struggled with their self-image and relationship with food will find it helpful.
Why emotional eating happens
If we are not aware of our emotional triggers, then our eating can be triggered by emotion rather than physical hunger. Using food as a distraction from feelings such as loneliness, anxiety, sadness, shame, grief.
There is a saying “that what you resist will persist” if you are permanently restricting your diet or having to juggle what you are and aren’t allowed to eat according to the “diet” you are following, then emotional eating can be a reaction to that.
Food is comforting. It makes us feel nurtured, cared for. It is a regular response and normal, but it can become a problem if it is the only way we know how to feel this way. Then it can contribute to disordered eating, increased shame and the continuation of needs that should be addressed.
How to stop emotional eating
Identifying your triggers can begin to give you the awareness needed to begin your journey to stop using food as a distraction to negative feelings. Learning to accept your feelings, (and no that doesn’t mean having to like them, yes they can be uncomfortable, but they can’t hurt us.)
Learning coping skills and tools, relaxation, breathing exercises, hypnosis, learning how to defuse from our thoughts instead of remaining stuck with them.
Mindful eating is itself a great tool, it can help us to re-connect with our intuition to recognise when we are hungry for food, thirsty or in need of comfort.
Comfort can be found in a variety of ways, maybe a warm bath or shower, curling up with a good book, meditating, talking with a good friend. It doesn’t always need to come from food.
Mindful eating also helps us to once again recognise the signal that we are full, we don’t have to clear our plates as we were once told as a child. When you eat mindfully rather than mindlessly you are less likely to pick or graze on food. Mindful Eating – The Nutrition Source (harvard.edu)
So emotional eating is less about food and more about our, unmet needs. Not simply a habit to break but an invitation to explore our thoughts and feelings with curiosity and compassion. By addressing our emotional hunger, rather than suppressing it with food, we can learn more about ourselves. Tools like mindful eating, learning to sit with our feelings, and nurturing ourselves without using food, can help begin to break the cycle of emotional eating and help us make choices that can truly nourish us.
Dr. Anita Johnston’s insights in Eating in the Light of the Moon remind us that healing our relationship with food is often about finding a path to self-acceptance and understanding. When we start asking ourselves, "What am I really hungry for?" we can take a powerful step toward to fulfilling our inner need that one that no amount of food can satisfy. Using this process, we reconnect with ourselves in a way that promotes lasting well-being, and freedom.
